Weddings affected by COVID - 19

My heart goes out to all the weddings and other events affected by the virus. With all venues being shut down right now, March and April couples have had to completely change their plans. Now it feels that even May, June and July events are also on the edge of their seat. Will any of this be back to normal by their big day? If you are having to postpone or consider cancelling your big day, my intention in this post is to help you make those decisions and hopefully transition into a new wedding date. I am not an expert but I will do my best to share my knowledge in hopes that it serves you during this time.

The Venues

On March 19th, the Los Angeles County Health Department ordered a closure on all non essential businesses for exactly one month. In one night, countless weddings were literally kicked out of their venues. And because it happened so quickly, many couples were frustrated and hurt by the way it was handled. I want to tell you that I also have many friends who were employed at those venues and many of them even lost their jobs that night. Golf courses, hotels, banquet halls, and the like had to shut their doors and many of my friends were actually laid off when this happened. They had no choice but to tell their couples, “I’m sorry, we are closed for the next month”. March and April events were given almost no options.

In some cases, the venue reps are not even reachable right now. I’m sure this is beyond frustrating. In the meantime, I urge you to use your other resources.. other vendors, wedding facebook groups, and the contracts or packages the venue gave you in the beginning. Rest assured, in my experience, most venues are allowing these options:

Postpone to a new date with no penalties, but they may still hold you to your original food and beverage minimum or rental rate. Most are trying to keep it within 2020 while some are allowing events to move into 2021!
Cancel completely with either some penalty or no penalty. For the events that were scheduled between 3/19 and 4/19, most couples are protected under the venues Force Majure clause which means they were literally unable to fulfill their part of the agreement.

I can’t even imagining how devastating of a loss this was for the venues, but it does make things better for the couple. Unfortunately, because this is your biggest ticket item, in terms of money spent or deposits, I urge you not to make any decisions about cancelling or postponing until you have all the facts from your venue. However, you can put a plan into action now, even if it’s just hypothetical.

An Action Plan

I know for me personally, the most uncomfortable thing about this situation is the uncertainty. If you’re wedding was scheduled in March or April you have likely made your decision to pull out. Later I will detail where to go from here if that’s you. But, there are many events still scheduled for end of April and into the summer months, and these couple are very unsure of what will be happening at that time. Without being able to know whether their venue will reopen, many couples just have to do the waiting game. In the meantime, it has been helpful to some couples to come up with an action plan, offering a sense of direction during this time. My suggestion is to move forward with your planning as much as you can. Plan for the worst but hope for the best! Here are a couple productive things you can do to keep moving:

Speak to your vendors and get their support - Hypothetically speaking, find out their options for postponement versus cancelling
Keep working on your wedding planning items - Do some small, fun tasks to keep you moving forward
Come up with a statement to keep your guests informed - You will likely be asked again and again what’s happening!
Talk with your fiancé - Ask each other the tough questions about postponing or eloping

Your Vendors

It might feel like you don’t have any options, but on behalf of the rest of your vendors, I’m here to tell you you do have options!! At least three that I can think of and probably more. I know that your photographer, your baker, your make up artist, and your florist all want to make this work for you! One of the best things about working with small businesses (which most of your vendors likely are) is that we can be flexible, make our own decisions, and we know how to hustle! I really encourage you to talk with your vendors now, even if you don’t know whether you are going to postpone, cancel or keep your date. Just talk to them. They can offer their opinion from a professional perspective. They can also just listen, relate, and be your friend.

Contracts

This means that for my couples, if you decide to postpone to a new date that is agreed upon by both of us, I can move your money over to the new date. If you choose to cancel, or postpone to a date that I am not available, you would have to lose out on your deposit. This is awful, and my heart breaks for you, but as a small business I run a very lean system and I have to stay afloat for the rest of my couples.

Please read all of your vendors contracts, and again, talk to them! They may even be going above and beyond what their contract states in order to help you during this time. Don’t assume they won’t honor something just because it says it in their contract, but also please be respectful if they have to stick to their guns.

Should I just cancel?

I have heard some couples say they just can’t imagine planning another big wedding right now. I totally get it and I don’t know what I would do in this situation if it were me. I still want to encourage you as much as I can to just postpone rather than cancel. As you read above, many small business contracts will not permit you to get your money back. It would be tragic to lose out on your big wedding plans and lose the money, too. However, this is an extremely personal decision and if you and your fiancé know that’s best for you both, here are a few suggestions:

If you are able to make this decision before your final payments are due, I would try to do that. Hopefully, if you catch it in time, there’s a chance you won’t be liable for any unmade payments
Start with your venue, like I mentioned, and be sure this is possible. Then contact all your vendors asap if you haven’t already
Ask for a cancellation agreement if they don’t present you with one. You want to be sure you are not liable for anything more and that you get it all in writing
Decide on a way to inform your guests. You can do this verbally, via email or with a printed card in the mail, depending on the timing

Lets Elope!

I am a huge fan of elopements right now! I think it’s because they feel fun, flirty, and a little bit rebellious. They can also be intimate, sweet, and still so special!! You can dress them up or down as much as you wish. Here’s when an elopement might be a great fit for you:

You already got your marriage license and want to make your original date feel special
Your officiant (pastor, priest, etc) is available and lives nearby
And here’s how you can make it extra fun!
See if your photographer is also available and will shoot some images for a small fee
Order a bouquet and boutonniere (myself and many other florists are still available!)
Keep it super intimate and offer to do a zoom video or record it for anyone who can’t attend

I did two elopement bouquets last weekend and it felt really special to still give the bride something beautiful to hold for her elopement ceremony! After you elope, you can still have a huge party later on, even at your original venue. It can be fairly easy to move all of your original plans to a new date that works better for everyone.

How to Postpone your Wedding Day

If you still want to have a big ceremony and a big celebration you can still do this! Many venues and vendors are offering to move your entire contract and all deposits to a new date that works for them. I have done this successfully for two of my spring weddings. One chose to move it to this summer and one is moving it all the way to next year. In both cases, we were able to find a date that works for their venue and ALL of their vendors. WITH NO PENALTY. They will still get to celebrate, eat, drink, and dance with all of their guests, just at a later date once everything comes down. If you are like me and feel uneasy with the uncertainty of this working out by your original date, then maybe postponement is right for you. Here’s what you can do:

Talk to your venue first and foremost - Are they allowing postponements without penalties? What dates are open?
Keep in mind you may need to be flexible with Friday’s and Sundays now that 2020 has likely filled up more at your venue - This may be the best alternative to cancelling altogether
Once you have found a few dates that work for the venue, contact all of your vendors and see which of those dates work - Try hard not to get set on a specific date until you hear back from everyone
If it’s a green light, then ask for postponement agreements of some kind from everyone showing the cancelling of the old date and the booking of the new date
Contact your guests and let them know the new date - You can do this via email, new stationery or give them all a phone call. Sooner rather than later!
Keep moving with your wedding planning tasks and have fun with it

In Closing

I know this is not an easy decision. It is extremely personal, and although you are probably receiving a lot of feedback from your family and friends, you must decide for yourself what feels best for you and your future partner. Whether you decide to cancel, elope or postpone, at the end of the day you will get to marry your best friend and that is the most important part!

Try to give yourself some time and space to really think about your options. It may help to talk to people or it may help to be alone in silence. My vendor friends wrote a great blog about dealing with the loss of your wedding, no matter which of these options you choose. Check it out here for some great tips on how to take care of yourself during this time!

The Emotions Behind Your Postponement

Written By Megan of Sweet Peach Planning and Sarah of Prospect Therapy.

As always please reach out to me for guidance. And stay safe!!